The questions on everybody’s minds are what is it? and how does it work? In a world exclusive, The Technology Herald bring you detailed answers to these questions in this special report.

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Imagine, if you will, that you are a customer in the weight-loss-pills section of your local pharmacy. You are overweight and wish to lose some of your bulk. Amongst the confusing array of weight loss formulas a large box grabs your attention. This large box simply has the word SlimQube followed with a guarantee of weight loss. It’s $50, but it’s worth it to keep your health. After a few seconds mulling over this exciting product, you decide to purchase it. Like yourself, it weighs a fair bit but you persevere and take it to the checkout.

After a tiring and slightly straining walk back to your home you open the product’s minimalistic packaging and are presented with a metal box, the size of a brick. It has a small green LED and a black power switch. You notice the instructions and read them to satisfy your curiosity:

WARNING: Before use please test this device by pressing the power switch. If the green LED does not illuminate then the product is faulty. Please return it to its place of purchase.

You test it. No light from the LED. Your product is faulty. After a sweat-inducing walk carrying the box back to the store, the checkout assistant happily takes the SlimQube and goes into the back room, where (unknowingly to you) he simply waits a while and gives you the exact same box in return. You go home and again, it’s faulty. You cannot believe your luck. Upon returning to the store infuriated and demanding your money back, the shop assistant asks you to step on the scales. You’ve lost weight. All that effort has really worked.

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The makers of the SlimQube are keeping the advertising of the product low-key due to the obvious fact that the product only works on those unaware of its function.

When asked whether he thought the product tricked those who are overweight, Mr Tony Maigre (CEO of LoseW8 Technologies) responded:

“No.”

Mr Maigre extended his response with:

“I don’t.”

The SlimQube launches mid September and will be available in most pharmacies and health stores.

But Flickr are looking for a special type of photographer, the household pet. The king of photo sites has revealed plans to launch a gadget that allows our domestic buddies to take snaps wherever they are without the aid of humans. The device, dubbed the PetCollr, will essentially look like an oversized collar which will fit to the pet around the neck. Initially the PetCollr will be available to cats and dogs, but more collars are planned for animals of different sizes.

The leaked technical specifications of the product suggest that it will allow pets to ‘take’ photographs at various times throughout their day. For instance, every hour or perhaps every day at four in the afternoon. The photos will be uploaded wirelessly to the Flickr account of choice either via a home wireless network or over a Wi-Fi connection. Other features include the ability to ‘auto tag’ photos based on image recognition technology.

Details are also emerging of a PetCollr Gold edition that contains GPS technology, allowing pets to geo-tag their photos. A solar powered flash looks likely to appear on this model too.

The news of the new product comes after Flickr revealed that the amount of accounts being created has slowed down due to market saturation. Mike SpeedShutter of Flickr, who declined to demonstrate the device himself, commented:

“Our think-tank were thinking of ways to appeal to new demographics. Just when we thought we’d hit a wall with the market saturation, the PetCollr idea was conceived. The new market is expected to include over one billion pets. “

The PetCollr is expected in pet stores worldwide in early September. Models range from $200 to $400.

The much anticipated Refreshr web statistics tool is now officially in beta. SEOists and traffic statistic obsessives worldwide can now rejoice.

WebTrafficDrive, the product’s makers, officially made the announcement at 16:00 GMT yesterday at their global Headquarters in London. The reaction was initially of wild enthusiasm which then dissipated into muted appreciation.

Refreshr is a website tool that instantly ups the amount of hits to any website. Once installed on your local machine, the Refreshr bot simply ‘visits’ your website through your internet connection and masks itself as a different visitor (upon refreshing) every time it is required to make a hit. The Technology Herald Technical advisor expects this is done through subnet IP data masking. The set-up for the user is simple. Simply naming the website that requires more hits, the amount of hits required and the timeframe provides the desired traffic boost.

The product is primarily targeted at those under pressure to attract more hits to websites, namely the SEO crowd. Harold First-Position had this to say after he attended the launch:

“Before, my job was a struggle. Unrealistic goals and high expectancies. Now, an SEOer, like me can type in a few details and achieve their monthly objective in minutes. Fantastic. I’d pay through my nose for this product.”

When asked whether Refreshr encouraged deception, Mr Smythe-Beckenforth of WebTrafficDrive commented:

“No.”

With all the hype, the Refreshr Official Website has been reported to have received over four hundred million (400,000,000) hits. The beta version is currently free

Andrea commented on her finding:

“I was walking from the Googleplex building to the car park and happened to look at a crumpled memo. I unravelled the memo and was amazed at what I read. I knew the very instant I started reading that it was a secret code detailing the nature of the Google search algorithm.”

Ms Hawkmonkey was kind enough to let The Technology Herald print part of the memo:

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Walmart
Soya Milk
Baguettes
Dozen Eggs
6pk Cola
Crate of Beer

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We unfortunately cannot reproduce the whole memo due to the fact that Andrea has sold its contents at a value of $1,000,000 to Search Engine Optimisation giants BunchOfRankers. Mr Gary Serper of BunchOfRankers announced that they are trying to decipher the code:

“We think that the code is related to the prices of the products mentioned in Walmart stores. We currently have a team of crack mathematicians scanning named products for clues. The fluctuation of the Google algorithm may relate to the fluctuation of prices or stock of the named products. It’s difficult to say at the moment.”

Expect the search engine marketing industry to come up with many abstract theories in the near future.