‘SlimQube’ will help you lose weight

~ Posted in Lifestyle on September 4th, 2007.

LoseW8 Technologies today revealed their intentions to ramp up the level of tech goodness available to the masses of overweight people around the globe with the announcement of their imminent new product, the SlimQube. The makers of this innovative product will be guaranteed to lose weight in the first 3 days of use, “or their money back.”

The questions on everybody’s minds are what is it? and how does it work? In a world exclusive, The Technology Herald bring you detailed answers to these questions in this special report.

- - -

Imagine, if you will, that you are a customer in the weight-loss-pills section of your local pharmacy. You are overweight and wish to lose some of your bulk. Amongst the confusing array of weight loss formulas a large box grabs your attention. This large box simply has the word SlimQube followed with a guarantee of weight loss. It’s $50, but it’s worth it to keep your health. After a few seconds mulling over this exciting product, you decide to purchase it. Like yourself, it weighs a fair bit but you persevere and take it to the checkout.

After a tiring and slightly straining walk back to your home you open the product’s minimalistic packaging and are presented with a metal box, the size of a brick. It has a small green LED and a black power switch. You notice the instructions and read them to satisfy your curiosity:

WARNING: Before use please test this device by pressing the power switch. If the green LED does not illuminate then the product is faulty. Please return it to its place of purchase.

You test it. No light from the LED. Your product is faulty. After a sweat-inducing walk carrying the box back to the store, the checkout assistant happily takes the SlimQube and goes into the back room, where (unknowingly to you) he simply waits a while and gives you the exact same box in return. You go home and again, it’s faulty. You cannot believe your luck. Upon returning to the store infuriated and demanding your money back, the shop assistant asks you to step on the scales. You’ve lost weight. All that effort has really worked.

- - -

The makers of the SlimQube are keeping the advertising of the product low-key due to the obvious fact that the product only works on those unaware of its function.

When asked whether he thought the product tricked those who are overweight, Mr Tony Maigre (CEO of LoseW8 Technologies) responded:

“No.”

Mr Maigre extended his response with:

“I don’t.”

The SlimQube launches mid September and will be available in most pharmacies and health stores.

~ ENDS ~

Filed away under: diet, personal, weight, weightqube

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